Axis of Evil

I am sure that anyone who reads my blog already knows the story I am going to tell. Essentially, our little house was invaded by tiny, evil creatures. Let me paint this horrific picture in your mind. It’s about one o-clock in the afternoon last Thursday when I am sitting at my kitchen table working feverishly on my business ethics paper. Out of the corner of my eye, my senses note something that is out of place. To my astonishment and horror, a GIGANTIC mouse is casually strolling across my living room, apparently it had gained an interest in my fantastic leather chair. To be sure that people don’t misunderstand the severity of the situation, the was more like a mouse- rat, rather a rouse or mat… the body must have been about 4 inches long, not including the devilish tail.

I grabbed my phone and ran up stairs, meanwhile I am dry heaving and getting exponentially dizzy. I call Jay at work and he informs me that I should get a broom and try to sweep it out of the house. This is not what I wanted to hear. So I hang up and dial my mom. She tells me the same thing. So by now I gather that I need some help, and seeing that we have a mortgage now, I can’t force Jay to come home and take care of it, so needless to say, I call Jen. She comes over, and when she sees the rouse, she flips out too. After some screaming and flash dancing, we realize that mat the rouse is not going anywhere. I leave her there for the time being so she can keep an eye on the fort while I get some WMD’s. I arrive at the local Home Depot, and the sales guy asks me if I want this to be done humanely… I looked at him like “REALLY?” I told him that I don’t care if they spontaneously combust, I want them dead in a hurry.

Let’s jump back a step or two first, before I went to the store I find another 3 in the basement… this is a big difference, its like realizing your kid has experimented with drugs versus finding out he deals them. BIG DIFFERENCE. This pumped it up to code red. I return from the store and put two traditional traps in the kitchen as well as a big thing of radon, and then another three things of radon in the basement and two more traditional traps. I grabbed a change of clothes and my laptop and went to my Mom’s. I made Jay and Scott do major clean up duty in the house.

Ever since it seems as though we wiped them out. The real point of my story is how one minute things can be hunky dory and in the next moment it is total chaos. I felt like my space was invaded and exploited by those furry demons. Saturday I went Desperate Housewife on my house and did a super thorough cleaning job and put together our Christmas decorations. So for now the problem seems to be under control. I hope my next post will be less gross.