Yeah its been a while

I really don't feel like playing a full game of catch up with my life, because honestly, there is a ton going on, and I don't think I can do it. I will have to settle with the readers digest version. So this summer Jay got a new job at UMB, which was both a promotion and a salary upgrade. We decided to look for a place to buy so we could set down some roots and take advantage of the $8,000 free money deal if you close on a house before November 30th or whatever. 

This is totally off topic and random, but as I was writing this I realized that the only person who is going to read this is Jen, and she already knows these things so why am I even bothering to do this? Oh well, I have come this far...

So Jay and I put an offer on this 2 bed 2 bath condo in late June. The catch was that it is a short sale so we had to wait months and months to get an acceptance on our offer. We looked at other places in the mean time, even put down another offer on a place and finally we hear back from the original place and learn that our offer has been accepted, (this took place mid September). So we set a closing date, the 23rd of October, and yes it is the 22nd of October! Well earlier this evening we did our walk through and the place was a disaster! They were supposed to leave the washer and dryer, which they neglected to do, the furnace had a leak during inspection which was fixed but they did not clean and service it as specified in the inspection and was signed by the owner, and the place looked like 10 dogs peed in it for 10 straight days!!! 

So we leave, obviously frustrated, but I am thinking, okay, we can figure this out and hopefully still move this Saturday as planned. 

Meanwhile, I neglected to mention this, Jason may have a certain work opportunity that would have a substantial impact on our financial situation and we should hear back on that as soon as Friday.

Anyway, so we leave and Jay starts talking about how frustrated he is and that maybe he doesn't really like the place all that much. This totally throws off my equilibrium, and I am now second guessing this whole thing. I know that it is common to have some cold feet, but honestly I am totally confused and oddly feeling a little depressed.

Right before I decided to reinstate my blog, I typed the words "manic depressive" into the search box in the upper right hand corner of my Internet window. I had really begun to wonder if there was more to my downer mood. Luckily, I didn't fit any of the descriptions for one who is afflicted by this brain dysfunction, but it made me realize how much this is effecting me. I am really frustrated, angry and bummed out about this whole thing. 

What is crazy is that we may still be buying this place. But it is the feeling of uncertainty that is throwing me for a loop. I was so excited to get settled and unpack our things; and really start the next chapter in our lives and now I am not so sure that is going to happen. Here we are, the night before we are supposed to close and I feel like I have been hung out to dry. Four months of anticipation for what? Disappointment? ARGGG!!!!

I thought about jumping off the roof, but then I realized there is about 6 inches of snow that would pad my landing and totally defeat the purpose. I really shouldn't joke about those things I guess. 

To quickly veer off into a tangent... If anyone besides Jen reads this blog, I think they are going to be surprised that my thoughts aren't as overly perky or flowery as many other women of my... well... belief system would be. Maybe I should dye my hair black and go REALLY heavy on the eye liner for a while. I am already pretty pasty so I could pull it off. Though, this may be misinterpreted  as an overly obsessive Twilight fan, which again, would defeat the purpose. 

I guess that is enough for now. I might keep you posted, or I might not. But if I am right that Jen is the only one who might read this, then she will know what is up!